Saturday, February 20, 2016

This Week in Bizarro News

I was reading on the Internet (something I need to stop doing so often) that a lot of Parmesan cheese on the market now (the kind that shakes out of the container, not the kind you have to slice) actually has wood pulp in it. One brand from a local grocery chain in Chicago (Jewel) pulled their Parmesan cheese off the shelves this week because of this. Oy! You think you're shaking cheese onto your pasta but you're really shaking wood onto your food and eating it. Are things really that tough in the cheese market these days that we can't actually sell people real cheese? People love cheese! I'm sure the cheese industry makes tons of money. So why has it come to this? Mixing wood pulp in with real grated cheese? That's terrible and nasty. The food industry is shady and these manufacturers will do anything to save a nickle including giving the public food that's not really food.

In other bizarro news, when I was coming back from NY earlier this week, and was waiting for the monorail that takes you from the New Jersey Transit train station to Newark Airport (convenient transportation, by the way), a woman and her husband/boyfriend/whatever were checking the flight monitors at the station and saw that their flight had departed already. However, they were complaining (well, she was anyway) about how the flight wasn't scheduled to depart until 1:06 pm. It was 1:00!!! She kept saying, "I can't believe the flight left already." Did she really think she could get to the airport, go through security, and get on the plane in six minutes? Apparently she did. During the monorail ride to the airport, she was still complaining about that departed flight. I fought the urge to just turn to her and say, "Bitch, the plane is gone! It's gone! You missed it!" Seriously, she looked like she was high or something. Maybe she'd taken a Xanax to calm her nerves for the flight and it was affecting her judgment.

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