Sunday, February 28, 2016

Cocked

I went to see the play Cocked yesterday at the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago and found it...interesting. The play is about an interracial lesbian couple whose lives are thrown into chaos when the white woman's loser brother shows up unexpectedly. The play started out fine. You find out that there are problems in the lesbian couple's relationship and that they're planning to move from their lovely Andersonville condo because their downstairs neighbor is a nuisance. The neighbor's dog barks constantly, the guy (who's an ex-Marine) plays Call of Duty on full blast when he's home, and he has made his neighbors' lives hell. Aside from living above this PITA (pain in the ass), the lesbians have problems in their relationship also. Anyway, the loser brother shows up and he convinces the black woman to purchase a gun from him for protection against the hostile Marine downstairs and chaos ensues. This play went to Crazyville pretty fast and during the last hour, I found myself frequently thinking, This is ridiculous.

In other news, I got a chance to see Chicago's Oz Park yesterday before the play, hence the picture of the Tin Man below.


Friday, February 26, 2016

Is It Over Yet?

This has been an odd week for me. I'm going through some drama at work. (Really, who isn't?) For my situation, I certainly hope some positive results come from the drama but I have a bad feeling things will return to business as usual. In other news, I had two doctor's appointments earlier this week as check-ups on previous issues and everything seemed fine, but this afternoon, I started feeling lousy with issues totally unrelated to my previous issues. With my luck, I'll end up back at the doctor next week. That's what happens when you're middle aged. Thankfully, we didn't get any lasting snow here in the Chicago area after the all-day snowstorm we had Wednesday. The folks in the southern part of the state and along the Illinois/Indiana border really got slammed, but with temps supposedly going into the 50s this weekend, maybe they'll be able to dig out.

It's hard to avoid the political situation (although I try), but every week, pretty much every day, there's more news about the Republican clown car of candidates that, while shrinking in size, still manages to roll on. I'm so ready for the "real" candidates on both sides to be selected so we can all move on. I have to laugh when I hear these "establishment" pundits in a tizzy about Trump. Hey, folks, Trump is the monster the GOP created. They built him and now they don't want him? He's saying a lot of things you'd hear on Fox News or read on the WSJ's editorial pages on any given day, yet they act like they don't know what he's up to. You birthed this baby, now take him!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Patti Pie vs. Hattie Pie

I finally got a chance to try one of Patti LaBelle's sweet potato pies from Walmart (yes, Walmart) and, as a lover of sweet potato pie, I must say Patti's was pretty, pretty good. It's very sweet. Most sweet potato pies I've tasted from local grocery stores just aren't good and that's a shame. My grandmother Hattie used to make sweet potato pies regularly. I can't ever recall going to my grandparents' home in Alabama and not having sweet potato pie. Since my grandmother's passing, my father has taken over making pies and he does a great job, but his pies aren't Hattie's pies and Patti's pies aren't Hattie's pies. My father gave me a recipe for making the pies and I need to start making my own, but I don't enjoy cooking. However, at least I know I can get my sweet potato pie fix with a Patti pie now. It's not a Hattie pie, but it certainly fills the void.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

So...It Was the Goat?

I went to see The Witch this weekend. I'd been waiting to see this movie ever since I saw a trailer for it last year. It looked sufficiently creepy and scary. Unfortunately, the parts shown in the trailer were about the best parts of the movie. Read no further if you haven't seen the movie and want to see it. After seeing the movie earlier today, all I can say is that I'm glad I went to the early show and only paid $6 because (A) I was falling asleep during the movie, (B) I had unanswered questions at the end (like what happened to the twins), and (C) the goat did it. Seriously...the goat. The goat, named, of course, Black Pete because he was a black goat, represented the devil and he brought all of the death and weirdness to this pilgrim family. A goat. Okay. Aside from that, I do think the movie was beautifully shot. Everything was just gray and depressing. I don't think I saw the sun shine once in this movie but the grayness went along with the sadness of the family. I also thought the acting was very good. On the whole though, it just didn't work for me.

Before the movie started, I saw trailers for other movies and there wasn't one I wanted to see. The trailer that annoyed me the most was one featuring Jake Gyllenhaal called Demolition about a man (Jake) who loses his wife in an auto accident and has to learn to live again through the help of a lovely blonde customer service rep (Naomi Watts) who's also a single mom. Oh, and Jake also has to destroy the lovely home he and his wife shared (like, physically destroy it, hence the title: Demolition) in order to become whole again. Really? Yes, really. God, Hollywood is in serious trouble if this is the kind of stuff that gets the green light out there. And, I've said it before but it bears saying again, why do people keep trying to make Gyllenhaal happen? He's not particularly talented nor is he even good looking, yet he keeps getting one chance after another to try and be the next big thing. How many movies has he been in that tanked? Southpaw, Nightcrawler, Prisoners, Love & Other Drugs, The Prince of Persia, and the list goes on. Enough already with this guy.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Winter Weather

Maybe the groundhogs were right. Maybe spring is coming early.


This Week in Bizarro News

I was reading on the Internet (something I need to stop doing so often) that a lot of Parmesan cheese on the market now (the kind that shakes out of the container, not the kind you have to slice) actually has wood pulp in it. One brand from a local grocery chain in Chicago (Jewel) pulled their Parmesan cheese off the shelves this week because of this. Oy! You think you're shaking cheese onto your pasta but you're really shaking wood onto your food and eating it. Are things really that tough in the cheese market these days that we can't actually sell people real cheese? People love cheese! I'm sure the cheese industry makes tons of money. So why has it come to this? Mixing wood pulp in with real grated cheese? That's terrible and nasty. The food industry is shady and these manufacturers will do anything to save a nickle including giving the public food that's not really food.

In other bizarro news, when I was coming back from NY earlier this week, and was waiting for the monorail that takes you from the New Jersey Transit train station to Newark Airport (convenient transportation, by the way), a woman and her husband/boyfriend/whatever were checking the flight monitors at the station and saw that their flight had departed already. However, they were complaining (well, she was anyway) about how the flight wasn't scheduled to depart until 1:06 pm. It was 1:00!!! She kept saying, "I can't believe the flight left already." Did she really think she could get to the airport, go through security, and get on the plane in six minutes? Apparently she did. During the monorail ride to the airport, she was still complaining about that departed flight. I fought the urge to just turn to her and say, "Bitch, the plane is gone! It's gone! You missed it!" Seriously, she looked like she was high or something. Maybe she'd taken a Xanax to calm her nerves for the flight and it was affecting her judgment.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

There Will Be Cake!

I don't normally write short stories, but I cranked one out for the Love Wins series JMS Books has available to celebrate the recent Supreme Court gay marriage ruling. My story, "There Will Be Cake," centers on nineteen-year-old college student Nick Wattley. Nick is serving as the best man in his father Tim’s wedding to his partner, Craig Pearson. After being closeted for years, Tim is finally out and proud and Nick is happy for his dad. But a weekend that’s supposed to be filled with pre-wedding preparations turns into a nightmare for Nick as he’s forced to deal with one uncomfortable situation after another. A day after witnessing a terrible argument between Tim and Craig, Nick mistakenly walks in on his father and his partner while they’re in flagrante delicto. And, just when he thinks things can’t get any worse, Nick is forced to deal Tim’s anxiety over walking down the aisle again and physically fend off an old friend of Craig’s who tries to make trouble.

There Will Be Cake didn't start out as a story about gay marriage. It actually started as a short story I wrote called "Through the Walls" about the son having an uncomfortable encounter with his father's partner. I shopped that one in some short story contests, but didn't get any prizes, so I tucked it away. I figured I'd be able to revise it someday or work it into something else and that's what you'll see with "There Will Be Cake." Check it out. I think it's one of the better things I've written and I'm quite proud of it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Again with the NYC

I'm back in New York again for a quick work visit. I'm glad I got into the city early yesterday since, apparently, a number of flights were canceled due to the weather. 
I need to come back during the spring or summer when I don't have to work and have a good amount of time to be a tourist.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Mr. Roboto

I went to the Chicago Auto Show yesterday and got the chance to see, touch, and sit in a variety of cars I'll surely never be able to afford like an Audi A6. I was impressed with how nice the leather interiors were in so many of the luxury vehicles. There's also a lot of gadgetry in cars these days and on one hand that's great, but on the other hand it's not. You shouldn't have to multitask while driving. It's dangerous. I didn't take any pictures of actual cars at the Auto Show, but I did get a shot of this weird robot that Ford put out for the viewing public. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Commercials

Maybe because Valentine's Day is tomorrow, I keep seeing commercials for Cialis and jewelry stores. The latest Cialis commercial I saw showed a man and a woman hanging curtains (!) and they bumped into each other. This bump caused the couple to, apparently, feel like it was time for Cialis. Hanging curtains leads to sexy time? Really? Curtains???

Jewelry commercials seem to flourish during Valentine's Day, understandably. I was watching a commercial advertising brown diamonds and I decided to check them out on the jewelry store's website. I was under the impression that brown diamonds were (A) plentiful and (B) not expensive. I was wrong, at least about the cost. The brown diamonds I saw advertised were expensive. I thought a pair of earrings would be relatively cheap, like a few hundred dollars. Ha! Not so. I don't recall seeing any brown diamonds in that price range. In fact, the earrings, necklaces, etc. I saw were over $1,000. That's too much money for me.

And, finally, the Lenten season brings out the fish commercials. I've seen more Filet-O-Fish commercials in the last week than I've ever seen along with commercials for Wendy's fish sandwich. Fish sandwiches never get this kind of publicity during the rest of the year, but the Lenten season is their brief time to shine.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Rigged

I saw a story on the news about a guy who sued the Chicago Police Department (no surprise there) for creating a rigged lineup. All of the men in the lineup were young and black, but there was one difference: the guy who sued was several shades lighter than the others. The photo of the lineup was ridiculous. The lighter skinned guy was right in the middle between guys whose complexions weren't even close to his own. Shouldn't a lineup be with similar-looking people? If a white guy is a bank robbery suspect, is it fair to put him in a lineup with five black guys? I don't think so! I want the justice system to work, but I also want it to be fair...for everyone. The guy who sued the city won his case although the city is expected to appeal the ruling.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Overrated

I just heard Sam Smith's song "Stay With Me" (otherwise known as "Won't Back Down" previously done by Tom Petty) and I thought, Sam is overrated. He can sing, but his voice is underwhelming to me. I read about another white British soul singer, Jessie J, who expressed disappointment that she wasn't recognized as a great singer like Mariah or Aretha because (in her mind) she was on par with these divas. When I read this, my first thought was, Who's Jessie J? Now, granted, I'm not exactly up to speed on a lot of current performers out there, but I think I would have heard of someone who sang on a Celine/Mariah/Aretha/Patty level. 

In other music-related news, I was watching Cabaret on TV last night and I can't believe I've never seen it on stage. Liza and Joel, who definitely are not overrated, were excellent in the film. I wonder if the play is equally as entertaining.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Fake Name

I seriously considered using a pseudonym to publish under even before the whole Kentucky Kim Davis debacle, but my ego wouldn't let me. Plus, if I published under another name, I wanted that name to be partly sleazy and totally awesome! Sure, I could use no imagination whatsoever and go with something lame (and cheesy) like Dick Johnson or Rock Hardington (ha!). Unfortunately, I believe Deez Balls is already taken. The day may come when I decide to put something out under a fake name if I want to take my writing in a totally different direction or just do something completely under the radar. With so many names out there to choose from, it would be hard to come up with something that would be great.

In totally unrelated news, I'm curious to find out how the primary in New Hampshire shakes out. As I posted a few days ago, it's time for the Republican clown car to lose a few riders. Who will be forced to hit the road after tonight? Governor Sandwiches? Mr. Ruboto? Dr. Gifted Hands?

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Super Bowl Sunday

This post isn't really about the Super Bowl or Sunday, but since it is Super Bowl Sunday, that's the title I went with. I didn't watch last night's millionth Republican debate (because, really, why bother?) but I did read about it and watch highlights earlier on the web. Governor Sandwiches (aka Chris Christie) really ate Marco Rubio's lunch for him, didn't he? Huh. I assume (I hope) after the New Hampshire primary, the Republican clown car will lose a few more riders. Super Tuesday can't get here soon enough. In other political news, I did catch Larry David doing his "Feel the Bern" rendition of Curb Your Enthusiasm last night on SNL. As a Curb fan, I really enjoyed it. They should have brought JB Smooth, Jeff Garlin, and Susie Essman on to play themselves in the skit. That would have been pretty, pretty, pretty good.

And, since I'm on a political kick today, I'm tired to Clinton and her cronies (I'm looking at you, Albright) saying again that women should support her because she's a woman. Please. I don't recall Obama saying black folks should support him because they're black. Shouldn't you vote for the candidate you feel will do the best job?

With all of the talk lately about how white the Oscars are, I'm a little surprised this is suddenly becoming an issue. Well, it's been an issue in the past, but are people really surprised that nothing has changed? How can things change when you have the same people making decisions in Hollywood about casting and which films get greenlighted (and which ones don't). White people often like to make and watch films about other white people. Is this new news? I don't think so. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the real diversity is coming on the small screen these days. Television and web-based shows seem to be a lot better in bringing diverse casts and varied story lines to audiences. Hollywood movie people are too focused on superhero and action movies (featuring mostly white guys saving the world) that will put overseas asses in the seats.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Shake and Wake

Even though I don't live in New York anymore, I still keep up with what's going on in the city via websites like Gothamist and NY Magazine. I read this week on Gothamist that the NYPD is going to start cracking down on people sleeping on the subway (shake and wake). Too many people have been robbed and/or assaulted while dozing on the subway, so the police want to stop people from becoming crime victims. I don't think I ever slept while on the subway when I lived in New York. It just seems like a recipe for disaster. Homeless advocates fear the shake and wake tactics are simply a cover for the NYPD to harass the homeless who often ride the rails and sleep in the cars. If you've ever ridden the subways in NY with any consistency, chances are you've encountered a sleeping homeless person. Sometimes the stench of these folks can fill an entire subway car. I learned the hard way that when you see an empty or near-empty car and the others are filled, chances are that car is empty for a reason, probably because it stinks like a landfill. I think shake and wake is actually a good thing. Sleeping on the subway, whether you're homeless or not, just isn't a good idea. Yes, we're all tired after a day or working or a night of drinking, but sleeping on public transit just isn't a good idea. You need to be aware of your surroundings or at least awake.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Under the Bus

I'm so glad Suits is back on USA but I can't help wondering when the lawyers are going to finally throw Mike Ross's fake ass under the bus. The guy's not a lawyer and he didn't go to Harvard. How long are the other members of the firm going to keep covering for him? Yes, they're covering for themselves also, but surely these smart attorneys could find a way to rid themselves of Ross without getting the stink of his lies on the firm. Of course then there wouldn't be a show, would there?

In totally unrelated news, I went to Panda Express tonight and didn't get a fortune cookie. Grrrr! I like fortune cookies. They're tasty. I was off Chinese food for a few years after a bad batch of lo mein in Brooklyn made me barf. Now I'm back on it, but only Panda Express. I can't bring myself to just go to a local place for fear of another barfing incident.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Killing Us Softly

Is everything out there trying to slowly kill us? Zika-infested mosquitoes, lead-tainted water, defective air bags, Ted Cruz. Stop the madness! I read today that the CDC said women of child-bearing age who aren't on birth control shouldn't drink because, in the event that they do become pregnant, they could harm their child via alcohol-related illnesses. It's amazing how Draconian the public health officials have become in the last few decades. As someone who grew up in the 70s and 80s, it's a wonder I even survived my childhood. We didn't have car seats and seat belts weren't even required when driving. I'm not saying car seats and seat belts aren't good, but sometimes I feel like we live in a nanny state. That being said, my father recently revealed that he might have to wear a hearing aid in the near future because he's having trouble hearing in one of his ears. My father worked in a car factory for many years starting in the late 60s. He worked in a factory before OHSA regulations were standard in factories. He would come home from work in the 70s and blow his nose and black soot would come out. God only knows what kinds of toxins he was breathing during the work day. I believe that factory contributed to the respiratory and auditory problems he's had in the past and is having now.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Baggage!

My new book, Baggage, came out yesterday and it's available for sale. You can find a link to purchase the book from JMS Books if you click on the cover on the sidebar. Baggage tells the story of Patrick Holt. After a bad breakup leaves him reluctant to get involved with another man, Patrick's neighbor sets him up with her brother-in-law Eric. Patrick prepares himself for disappointment, but finds himself quickly charmed by Eric. Eric falls hard and fast for Patrick also, but secrets from his past threaten to destroy everything between them. I hope readers enjoy it.