Faked Empathy

I was reading a thread on Datalounge a few days ago about faked empathy and compassion fatigue and I've been thinking about these terms ever since. Most of us probably fake empathy from time to time. A coworker or some vague acquaintance talks about a spouse/significant other/family member who got the flu or some kind of stomach virus and you express empathy for the ill person but the empathy is fake because (A) you don't know the person and/or (B) you don't care. I feel like saying "bless you" when someone sneezes is fake empathy which is why I don't say it often. (I also feel it's based on a superstition that you stop breathing when you sneeze, hence you need the blessing to stay alive.) It's not that I don't want someone to be blessed, I just feel like saying "bless you" when you sneeze is a hollow gesture. It's like saying, "Have a nice day!" to the cashier at CVS. Do I really want the cashier to have a nice day? Will I wonder if the cashier did have a nice day after I walk out the store? Will I think about the cashier at all after our transaction is done? Probably not. I hate to sound callous and uncaring, but I also hate to fake the funk. I know common courtesies don't hurt anyone, but sometimes I just get tired of all of the fakeness. Sometimes I just want to say, "I don't care how the rest of your day goes, random person, and I doubt you care about mine either!" There's so much to worry about in our own lives and the lives of our friends and loved ones these days that it's hard to muster much (or any) concern for folks you don't know personally or don't know at all. Compassion fatigue is real.

Who Let the Kids Out?

I read a story today about some kids acting terribly on the Philadelphia Market-Frankfort Line. There was video of about four or five kids (little kids, not teenagers) being belligerent and spitting on the train. Ugh. One of the local news stations had interviewed the parents of some of the kids and the mother and father both said they were embarrassed and were upset about the way their kids behaved. However, the father tried to justify his kids' behavior by claiming that since they were poor and growing up in a poor environment where, apparently, profanity is heard daily, then it was no surprise that his kids talked that way. (The father also blamed the person who videotaped the kids saying that rider was insulting his kids by calling them monkeys and other racially-charged names.) Kids shouldn't be cutting up on the train or the street or anywhere and they certainly shouldn't be spitting on people regardless of their home environment. If your kids can't behave themselves, then they don't need to be out in public. Seriously. Keep those kids at home! And if some jackhole calls your kids out of their name, the adult with them should deal with that. (There was an adult with the crazy kids in Philly who, apparently, did nothing during this entire debacle.) I can't stand to see kids going crazy in public and flopping is the worst. Oy! And kids do it because they know it's annoying. "Hey, Mom, I'm going to cry and fall out on the floor so everyone can look at me! Ha ha!" I don't even have any kids, but if I did and one flopped out on me at Target or the grocery store, I'd lose my shit.

Marley

As this Easter weekend winds down, I had to squeeze in a post about a great documentary I saw over the weekend about Bob Marley called, fittingly enough, Marley. I had seen a small part of the documentary about a week or so ago on cable, but I came in halfway through it and wanted to see the whole thing so I watched it on Netflix. (Thank God for Netflix streaming!) I really didn't know anything about Bob Marley other than that he was a reggae singer who was a Rastafarian. The documentary was fascinating because I learned a lot about Marley, his life, Rastafarianism, and Jamaica. I highly recommend it for those interested in Marley or just for those who want to watch an interesting documentary. Marley was such a great spokesman for Jamaica and its people and he never shied away from the problems and conflicts in his home country. Even after he was shot during an assassination attempt, he still got on stage and sang about the need for Jamaicans to unify. I was surprised to learn that he died from cancer at age 36 and that he'd fathered eleven children with seven different women. (Whoa!)

I've complained frequently about the sad state of movies out these days, but my criticism doesn't extend to the great documentaries being put out these days. The Marley documentary along with the Nina Simone and Amy Winehouse docs have been really great.

Have a Great Easter Weekend!

Happy Songs

Today was such a bad news day with the tragedy in Brussels. It's terrible to hear such awful news. And for me, personally, the awful day just went from bad to worse. On the way home from work, I had to put on some music to try and put myself in a better mood and, thankfully, I had two good CDs in the car to help with that: Happy Songs by Audra McDonald and Songs I Heard, by Harry Connick, Jr.

Happy Songs is not my favorite Audra CD (that would be How Glory Goes), but I do enjoy many of the tracks on it. When I saw her perform at Carnegie Hall a few years ago, her rendition of He Loves and She Loves brought tears to my eyes and even now when I hear the song on CD, I feel verklempt all over again.

Songs I Heard puts me in a happy mood because Harry sings a lot of songs I grew up hearing. His rendition of Candy Man/Pure Imagination is just wonderful. The same goes for The Merry Old Land of Oz and The Lonely Goatherd.

Sunset Baby

I went to see the play Sunset Baby yesterday and it was...interesting. The play is about a young woman, Nina, whose parents were social activists in the 70s and 80s. Nina's mother ended up on drugs and died as a result while her father was in jail. Her father tracks here down after he's released from prison but she doesn't want anything to do with him. She's angry and bitter because of her mother's problems (that she blames her father for creating). It's a hard play to watch because there are no winners here. Nina, who survives by selling drugs and committing armed robbery with her thug boyfriend, Damon, is so angry (even if she's justified in that anger) that it was hard for me to have a lot of sympathy for her. Her father, Kenyatta, who's been largely absent in her life (he deserted Nina and her mother prior to his incarceration), comes on the scene too late to make a difference in his daughter's life and I was never really sure if he sincerely wanted to try and create a bond with her or if he was an opportunist. And Damon, Nina's gangster boyfriend, is really just a waste of space. He has his own child he barely sees (although he blames the child's mother for that) and he mentally, verbally, and physically abuses Nina all under the guise of claiming to love her. Yeah, right. I'm sure for many of the older (white), upper-class theater patrons in the audience, Sunset Baby was a lot for them to take. The language was often harsh and the play doesn't glamorize life in the ghetto at all. It's survival of fittest for a lot of folks and the struggle is real.

Underage Driver

I, unfortunately, stopped at Walmart on the way home today and the parking lot was a mad house, as usual. However, when I pulled into the lot, I wasn't expecting to be almost taken out by a 12-year-old driving a minivan. I swear, the kid looked like was in middle school. First, he comes barreling through a parking space and into the lane that everyone uses to drive around the front of the store. He paid no mind to the oncoming traffic. Thankfully, I was paying attention when the kid cut me off. Then he parks the minivan in front of the store to pick up his mother and/or assorted relatives. Did I flip him off as I passed him? I sure did. (He looked shocked that I did.) Was that petty? Probably, but I did it anyway. If that kid had hit me, I would have sued his parents' asses because I know he wasn't old enough to be driving. Who lets their middle school-aged kid drive especially in a crowded parking lot? Insanity. I don't know what it is about Walmart that brings out the worst people or the worst IN people. The low prices? Maybe. The only thing that made this whole experience slightly worth it was that I got a Patti Pie (see below).

Let's Be Real

After last night's election results, it's time for a lot of folks to get real about Donald Trump (if they haven't already). I usually turn on Morning Joe while I'm getting ready for work on the morning and it amazes me how many pundits they have on who still don't seem to get the whole Trump thing (Bill Kristol, I'm looking at you). I see clearly what's going on. A lot of angry, primarily white, folks want an angry white candidate and Trump fits the bill. For those "establishment" folks who are scratching their heads wondering why Rubio didn't catch fire, I have an answer: He's not white. Oh, he's Ricky Ricardo white, but he's not ethnically white. After two terms of Obama, some folks are hungry for a white man (not of Cuban or partially Cuban [i.e Cruz]) descent to be the next POTUS. They don't want a white Cuban, a half-Cuban, a Jewish person, or a woman. They want a white man with a white wife and white kids. (Sorry, Jeb.) It amazes me how these political shows don't just come out and recognize this. No matter how white Ted Cruz tries to appear by using his nickname "Ted" rather than his real name "Rafael," flaunting his blonde wife and basically white kids, and praising his white mother, his name is still Cruz, he was still born in Canada, and he'll never be white enough for some folks. That's just reality, folks. And what about John Kasich? He's white. Yes, but he's also not angry and reminds people of failed Republican candidates like Mitt Romney and John McCain. They were both considered "moderate" Republican candidates and they both bit the dust.

Civic Duty

Well, I did my civic duty and voted today. While I'm not thrilled with any of the candidates, that wasn't an excuse to stay away from the polls. Sometimes you have to hold your nose and vote pull the lever or push the button or whatever.

Lionel Richie

I was reading an article in yesterday's NY Times magazine that profiled 25 different songs and one of them was Lionel Richie's "Hello" (not to be confused with Adele's song of the same name). As a child of the 70s and 80s, I'm quite familiar with Lionel's music from his work with The Commodores to his solo recordings. And while "Hello" isn't a personal favorite of mine, I do enjoy a lot of his work. Lionel Richie in the 80s had the right music for the time. "Say You, Say Me," "Penny Lover," and "My Love" are all great songs. I had to go on iTunes and download some of his music. Cheesy? Yes, but a little cheese is okay on occasion, right?

National Conversation???

Hillary Clinton said yesterday at Nancy Reagan's funeral that Ronald and Nancy Reagan started a "national conversation" on AIDS in the 1980s. It must have been a silent conversation. Despite the fact that I was only 10-19 years old during the 1980s, even I know how the Reagan administration ignored the AIDS crisis during the 1980s. Hell, anyone can read about this or see the excellent documentary We Were Here to learn more about that era and how activists had to fight tooth and nail just to get the AIDS crisis into the national conversation. Hillary later released a statement that she'd "misspoke" yesterday but does she really think anyone believes that? Hillary Clinton surely had prepared remarks for the funeral. She's not someone to speak off the cuff particularly not at a huge event like a former first lady's funeral. I'm no fan of Hills as it is but this supposed misstep may have cost her one vote in Illinois next Tuesday. I've been preparing myself to hold my nose and vote for her, but maybe I ought to throw a vote to Bernie "white people don't know what it's like to be poor/black folks live in the ghetto" Sanders. I'm used to Republican candidates having diarrhea of the mouth, but the illness seems to be spreading to the Democrats this election season. Get it together, folks.

Go Matt!

I wanted to give a shout out to Matt de la Pena, a writer who's been getting a lot of (greatly deserved) press for his latest children's book Last Stop on Market Street. Matt was my instructor when I took a novel writing class back in 2011 at NYU. He was a great teacher and it's nice to see him getting recognized for his work. I read he's a member of group that helps to promote diversity in books and that's great. The publishing field certainly needs more voices from people of color.

Michigan Feels the Bern??

I was surprised to see my home state of Michigan go for Bernie Sanders in last night's primary. I didn't see that one coming and, apparently, neither did the pollsters. I was listening to NPR on the way home from work today and they spoke with someone from Nate Silver's polling service FiveThirtyEight about how the pollsters wrongly predicted that Clinton would win Michigan. The whole polling system sounds like a crap shoot these days. How many people actually still have landlines? And for those who don't, how many actually answers calls from pollsters that come via their cell phones? Not many, I suspect. I know I don't answer calls on my phone from numbers I don't recognize and I'm sure I'm not alone in doing that. So who are the pollsters actually polling?

Political Ads

Since Illinois is due to vote next week, our airwaves are being saturated with political ads. Two of the more annoying ones I've seen lately feature Hillary Clinton hugging an awful lot of black folks and Marco Rubio claiming NOT to be part of the Republican establishment. Uh, isn't he largely funded by the Republican establishment??? (And let me just add that Marco has a terrible voice. He should stick with voice-overs for future ads.) I'd like to say it'll be great when the primary is over so these ads can end, but we'll probably only get a short reprieve before they start up again once the primary voting for all of the states ends and the party candidates are selected. I have a feeling the race will be particularly dirty this year no matter who the candidates are. I can only imagine how awful the race will be if it's between Clinton and Trump or Clinton and (God help us) Cruz. (Go back to Canada and run for something there, Rafael!)

Before I log out, let me just say to Bernie Sanders: all black folks don't live in the ghetto, Bern! Maybe you ought to get out of Vermont more often.

Overpriced!

I went to McDonald's for breakfast recently and got a big breakfast and a small orange juice. These items cost me over $7. Seven dollars!!! I thought to cashier had made a mistake. "Did you charge me for the big breakfast with hotcakes?" I asked. "No," she answered. I couldn't figure out how my big breakfast, that cost about $4 ended up being more than $7 and then I realized: it's the orange juice! A small orange juice at McDonald's cost me more than $2...$2.35 to be exact. Huh? How is that possible? The orange juice cost more than half the price of the food! Is there an orange shortage in Florida? Has there been a crop freeze recently? Why does a small OJ cost more than $2?? That seems outrageous to me, yet I paid what I was charged and I drank that orange juice (and it was tasty). When I lived and worked in New York, I had my McDonald's breakfast down to a science and I figured out how I could have breakfast there for under $5. Forget those Egg McMuffin/McGriddle combos. They cost too much. I'd get the three hotcakes (no sausage) and a small decaf and the total would come out to under $5. That was the kind of breakfast I could afford. I guess I would have been paying close to $7 if I had chosen orange juice instead of coffee. I thought McDonald's was supposed to be an affordable food alternative. I guess it is if you drink coffee and/or soft drinks rather than orange juice.

Everything That's Wrong with Hollywood

The new Ghostbusters movie and that hot mess of a Nina Simone movie signify everything that's wrong with Hollywood these days. First, did we really need a reboot of Ghostbusters? I don't think so. Are there any new stories to be told in film? Apparently not in the eyes of the Hollywood executives who keep giving the green light to one remake or superhero movie after another. Second, I've already blogged about the Zoe Saldana/Nina Simone movie so I won't rehash that argument except to say I don't understand how anyone in this day and age thought it would be a good idea to put Zoe in blackface. Unbelievable. Did the filmmakers really think there wouldn't be a backlash against this? I thought for sure the movie would either never get released or go straight to DVD. Hell, it's been on the shelf for four years. Why bother releasing it now?

Nina Simone

I've blogged before about Nina Simone, specifically about the recent documentary on her life What Happened, Miss Simone? that is excellent and highly recommended. Now that the Zoe Saldana movie is back on the front burner and due to be released soon, I'm putting my two cents in about that hot mess. First, when I saw recent pictures  of Zoe from the film, my first thought was that she looked like Robert Downey, Jr. from the film Tropic Thunder when his character is in blackface. I don't understand how Saldana could allow herself to be made up so freakishly. If the filmmakers wanted so desperately for her to star in this movie, okay, but did they have to make her look so awful? She's never going to look like Nina Simone, so why not just let her look as she does? Give her an Afro wig and call it a day. The way she looks is an embarrassment to all parties involved.

Sit Down

Sometimes you get a standing ovation and sometimes you get the hook. Sometimes you should stand up and sometimes you should sit down. Well, it's time for Marco Rubio and Sam Smith to have a seat. Let's start with Marco. He's won, what, one primary yet he keeps believing he'll be the Republican nominee. Keep hope alive? More like keep delusion coming. I watch him at these rallies and you'd think he was actually at the top of the heap, but he isn't. He's on the bottom. Dude, it's time to sit down.

As for Sam Smith, he also needs to take a seat. He's someone I've blogged about before and, after a no bueno performance at the Oscars, he actually won for "Writing's On the Wall" and then proclaimed to be the first gay person to win an Oscar. That was news to other gay folks who have won. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't like Sam Smith. I don't like his singing and I don't like his face (the beard isn't helping). He may be a very nice guy, but clearly he's a few cans short of a six pack with his Oscar performance and speech. Take a bow, Sam, and then take a seat.