Slightly Less Crazy (from the Heat and Everything Else)

In my last post, I talked about being ill during the 4th of July weekend while dealing with the heat. Well, my health problems weren't as bad as I worried they would be, so that's great. And the heat did subside, and that's great. But what I got in return was smoke from the Canadian wildfires and side effects from the medication my doctor prescribed. The medication I was given made me anxious, caused a great deal of insomnia for me, and kind of jacked my stomach up. Thankfully, I'm done with it for now. My last dose was Sunday and I hope it's all out of my system this week so I can try to get back to a normal sleep schedule and a reduction in the anxiety I've been feeling. I'm grateful the medication stopped the problem I was having, but it brought a new set of problems that I didn't expect. What a horrible trade-off. Getting old is no fun especially when your body starts breaking down and problems come out of nowhere. 

Over the past few weeks, I have barely been able to sit still and read or do much of anything other than watch TV and do sudoku puzzles because I've been too wound up to do much more than that. Feeling so anxious that you think you're losing your mind if a horrible way to get through the day or (in my case) through the night since the anxiety seemed to come on in the evenings. I was generally okay during the day to work, but at night, I was a basket case. I need to find some meditation techniques or something to calm myself.

Crazy From the Heat

I spent the 4th of July weekend dealing with health problems and trying to keep myself from going crazy from the heat. While I'm still waiting to hear if my health problems are minor or major, at least the heat has subsided in the Chicago area. But last weekend, it was largely awful here due to the "heat dome" that overtook large parts of the United States. As I get older, I find myself unable to deal with hot weather the way I used to when I was younger. I grew up in a house that did not have air conditioning, but there was no global warming back then either, so temps in my home state of Michigan didn't heat up the way they do now. The apartment where I live now doesn't have central air, but I do have a window air conditioner and portable units for my bedrooms. I've been able to get by with those, but "getting by" often means sequestering myself in one room, closing the door, and staying in that room to stay cool. It's a little claustrophobic, but it's the price I have to pay for coolness. The next place I live (and there will be a next place, sooner than later, if everything works out), has to have central air. I'm done with the wall and portable air conditioning units. I want coolness in every room.

Last weekend, I truly felt the effects of being crazy from the heat. It wasn't just the heat that was making me crazy either. It was the heat on top of my anxiety over my health problems that were pushing me closer to the edge. I really need to start getting into meditation or get on anti-anxiety drugs. Not that I want yet another pill to take each day, but I'd do it to have calmness. 

I'm longing for the days in June when we had high temps in the 70s during the day and the 50s and 60s at night. Fall and winter can't come soon enough! 

A Handout or a Hand Up?

I just read an article on the NY Magazine site about boomers not helping their millennial kids out financially and the kids resenting their parents for it. I'm not a boomer or a millennial (Gen X all day, baby), so I can't speak for those groups, but I can speak about my own situation with my parents and money. 

I was raised without receiving financial support from my parents for college. My mother (who died while I was in graduate school) wasn't in a position to help me financially and my father really wasn't either (although he was certainly better off financially than my mother after they divorced in the 1980s). So I paid my own way. I worked for the university where I received my undergraduate degree so I could receive tuition assistance and I took loans out for graduate school (that I finally paid off probably 20 years ago). I also didn't get any funds from my dad when I bought my current co-op. I used my own money that I'd saved for the down payment. Considering the fact that I was in my 40s when I bought the place, I wouldn't have even imagined asking my father for money. He was retired by then and living on a fixed income. 

While I'm not against financially helping family members, I don't feel any parent is obligated to give their grown children money, but I also don't have any children, so I'm speaking as someone who's never been in this situation personally. Some kids do need financial help with bills, down payments, college loans, whatever and some parents are in a financial position to help their children, but if the parents choose not to help, are they evil for refusing to give their kids money? I don't think so.

New York, New York

I got back yesterday from a quick trip to New York for work. I got there on Saturday and the entire time I was there, I found myself being annoyed with the amount of people on the streets. I also found myself wondering how I worked there for 7.5 years while living in New Jersey and then Brooklyn. I was talking to a friend in NY about this and she assured me that the city wasn't as crowded back then. I left NY in 2013. Maybe she's right, but the sheer amount of people walking around midtown and taking selfies and videos of themselves (especially around Times Square) during my recent visit was ridiculous. I avoided Times Square like the plague when I used to work around that area, but I had to go through it to get to where I was going during my visit this past weekend and the streets felt downright claustrophobic. 

Shortly before I left New York, the city got Citibikes and I remember thinking, This is never going to work. How wrong I was about that! There are so many bikes on the streets there now: Citibikes, e-bikes, personal bikes. whatever. If you didn't have enough problems crossing the streets due to cars, trucks, and busses, now you've got bikers who will mow you down. 

Despite my complaints, I always enjoy visiting New York and this trip was no exception. After a heavy rain Saturday night, the weather was great Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and I got to see my boss (who I had not seen in person since before Covid in 2020), other coworkers, and friends I hadn't seen in some time. I doubt I'd ever move back to New York because I can't afford it and because I don't think I could take it, but I'll continue to be a visitor. I just need to avoid Midtown the next time I go!

Say Yes to Michigan

Years ago, there used to be an ad campaign to encourage people to visit Michigan. The theme song for the commericals was "Say Yes to Michigan." I can hear the song in my head as I'm typing this post. I was in my home state of Michigan last week for the Memorial Day holiday and had a great time. I'm seriously considering a move back to the mitten state and I'm really close to making that happen. I'm pretty certain it will happen before the end of the year. I've been in the Chicago area now since 2013 (after leaving Brooklyn) and I feel like it's time to make another move. Maybe it's time to "say yes to Michigan" again!

In other news, I'm reading Heated Rivalry (and watching the series) and I have to say I'm enjoying both. The book is good and I'm ashamed at myself for not reading it earlier. I'm not someone who's into hockey at all (despite being from Michigan), but I'm enjoying the story and the characters. It's a nice departure from some of the more depressing stuff I've been reading over the past few months. Maybe it'll spur me to get back to my own writing (that's been sorely neglected). One can only hope! 

Stuff I'm Watching

Believe it or not, but I am trying to work on some fiction. I've been saying that for many months, but it's true! Yes, I've been detoured by laziness and life, but I do intend to finish the work I started. I don't know when it'll be finished, but it will be finished eventually!

In between writing and not writing, I've been watching a lot of stuff. I recently saw the film Pillion and found it interesting. I'm not a fan of dom/sub relationships; it's just not my bag. However, I'd read a lot about this film and I like Alexander Skarsgard, so I wanted to see it. I found his relationship with Harry Melling to be both crazy and entertaining. Harry's character was basically willing to serve at the pleasure of Alex's character (although I suspect he got some pleasure from it also). The first time he went to Alex's house, Alex told him to cook dinner for him and made him stand while he (Alex) ate that dinner. Harry would sleep on the floor beside Alex's bed. Harry shaved his head and wore a large padlock and chain around his neck (that Alex held the key for) to show that he "belonged" to Alex. But, as soon as Harry wanted to take a break from the whole dom/sub roles, Alex noped out. (Well, Alex tried it for one day, but that was it.) I kept thinking of the song "I Want to Be Your Dog" while I watched this film. 

I've also started watching the series Half Man on HBO Max. I watched Richard Gadd's other series, Baby Reindeer, back when I had Netflix and found it disturbing, but entertaining. Half Man is disturbing and less entertaining. I'm only two episodes in and I plan to finish the series, but all I can think about while watching it is that Gadd is a little disturbed (maybe more than a little) to come up with this whole storyline. Maybe more than a little. The co-dependency between his character and Jamie Bell's character is just crazy and so destructive (mainly to Jamie's character).

I'm also giving Heated Rivalry another run. I watched the first episode and didn't think I'd go back to the series, but I did and I've found that it gets better as it goes on. Now I'm kind of into it. I still don't find either of the actors playing the lead roles to be particularly sexy, but I am enjoying seeing them together. Maybe I should read the book!

Michael Jackson

I went to see the new Michael Jackson movie last week and found it corny. I enjoyed MJ the Musical much more and that was a little corny too, but at least it had killer dance sequences. The movie didn't have as many musical parts as I was hoping it would. Still, it was entertaining if you're a fan of MJ, as I am.

I understand the relcutance of some to put more money in the pockets of the Michael Jackson estate given his past but my way of dealing with this is to try and separate the music from the man. Some folks can't do that and I totally get it, but I grew up on the music of the Jackson 5, the Jacksons, and Michael as a solo artist. I went to the Victory Tour back in the 1980s at the Pontiac Silverdome outside of Detroit!

Michael Jackson was seriously talented, but he was also certifiably crazy and probably perverted. It doesn't take a genius to look at the changes in his personal appearance over the years and come to the conclusion that this guy had serious issues with himself. I have no idea if he abused kids, but when the molestation accusations started, I can't say I was surprised. What grown man has kids over to his house to sleep in his bed with him, especially kids who aren't HIS kids? Are his kids even HIS biological kids? Probably not, but he brought them up and raised them, so I guess they're his kids now, right? 

Taking all of that into consideration, I can still say I enjoy a lot of the music Michael put out before he died. I love really old stuff like Ben and I'll Be There, older solo stuff like Off the Wall and Rock with You, and newer (old) stuff like Remember the Time and the Earth Song. Mike threw down musically and he was a great entertainer. He may have been a mess as a man, but he knew how to put on a show.