RIP, Dolly

I was sorry to hear that Dolly Parton died yesterday. Count me in as one of Dolly's many fans. Her voice was so wonderful and she just brought so much joy to people through her music, her life, and her actions. She will be sorely missed. 

One of my favorite Dolly Parton songs is "Here You Come Again" and I recently read that she didn't write that song, but it was her first crossover hit. It's such a lovely song and she puts so much emotion into the lyrics. I thought about that song a lot when I wrote my last short story "Whenever, Wherever, Whatever" and it's referenced in the story when one character shows up at the door of the man he walked out on, who sees him and says, "This isn't a Dolly Parton song, Jonathan. I'm not going to sing Here You Come Again and fall back into bed with you." But, of course, that's exactly what he does! (Well, maybe he doesn't sing Dolly's song, but he sure falls back into bed with Jonathan.)

RIP, Dolly.

Powerless

Living in the Chicago area, news of the power outages in parts of Indiana that border Illinois, like Gary, has been frequent on the location TV stations and in the local papers. It's a damn shame that some people have been going without power for 10 days now, but it's no surprise to me that places like Gary, a poor, largely black city, has been hit especially hard. Is it a coincidence that power restoration has been slow in a city that's economically disadvantaged? Not bloody likely! Poor communities get poor responses from the government and just about everyone including utility companies. Wealthier communities have more clout to make people hear them when they're dissatisfied with something and their cries usually bring swift action. But when you live in a community where people are struggling to survive on a daily basis, your cries often go ignored. For the United States to have so much wealth and power, some citizens are left behind and rendered largely powerless, unfortunately. It shouldn't be like this, but it is. 

July in My Rear View

My July sucked ass. Just about the whole month was horrible for me due to illness, the heat, the wildfire smoke, and other stuff. I'm so glad to put that month in my rear view and I'm hoping August turns the page and is much better. So far, so good (but I know we're only 5 days in).

I recently returned from a visit to my home state of Michigan and I'll be heading back to the mitten state for a return visit. It's not a terrible drive from Illinois because it's pretty much a straight shot on I-94, but it's still a long drive and the traffic is bad in certain areas, particularly in Illinois and right across the border into Indiana. Then you add pockets of construction in Michigan along with that and you've got a not-so-great drive. Still, I always feel when I make the drive that you're never out in the middle of nowhere for long. You hit so many decent-sized cities along the way that it's comforting to know you don't have miles of barren highway ahead of you. 

In the coming months, I'm planning some personal changes in my life that (I hope) will be positive. I'm also hoping after I get these changes underway that I'll get back to writing because that task has been sorely neglected by me for some time. I just haven't felt like doing it, but I do have a story in the works (and it's been in the works for some time). I'm really going to work to get that done by the end of the year.

Stay tuned!

Slightly Less Crazy (from the Heat and Everything Else)

In my last post, I talked about being ill during the 4th of July weekend while dealing with the heat. Well, my health problems weren't as bad as I worried they would be, so that's great. And the heat did subside, and that's great. But what I got in return was smoke from the Canadian wildfires and side effects from the medication my doctor prescribed. The medication I was given made me anxious, caused a great deal of insomnia for me, and kind of jacked my stomach up. Thankfully, I'm done with it for now. My last dose was Sunday and I hope it's all out of my system this week so I can try to get back to a normal sleep schedule and a reduction in the anxiety I've been feeling. I'm grateful the medication stopped the problem I was having, but it brought a new set of problems that I didn't expect. What a horrible trade-off. Getting old is no fun especially when your body starts breaking down and problems come out of nowhere. 

Over the past few weeks, I have barely been able to sit still and read or do much of anything other than watch TV and do sudoku puzzles because I've been too wound up to do much more than that. Feeling so anxious that you think you're losing your mind if a horrible way to get through the day or (in my case) through the night since the anxiety seemed to come on in the evenings. I was generally okay during the day to work, but at night, I was a basket case. I need to find some meditation techniques or something to calm myself.

Crazy From the Heat

I spent the 4th of July weekend dealing with health problems and trying to keep myself from going crazy from the heat. While I'm still waiting to hear if my health problems are minor or major, at least the heat has subsided in the Chicago area. But last weekend, it was largely awful here due to the "heat dome" that overtook large parts of the United States. As I get older, I find myself unable to deal with hot weather the way I used to when I was younger. I grew up in a house that did not have air conditioning, but there was no global warming back then either, so temps in my home state of Michigan didn't heat up the way they do now. The apartment where I live now doesn't have central air, but I do have a window air conditioner and portable units for my bedrooms. I've been able to get by with those, but "getting by" often means sequestering myself in one room, closing the door, and staying in that room to stay cool. It's a little claustrophobic, but it's the price I have to pay for coolness. The next place I live (and there will be a next place, sooner than later, if everything works out), has to have central air. I'm done with the wall and portable air conditioning units. I want coolness in every room.

Last weekend, I truly felt the effects of being crazy from the heat. It wasn't just the heat that was making me crazy either. It was the heat on top of my anxiety over my health problems that were pushing me closer to the edge. I really need to start getting into meditation or get on anti-anxiety drugs. Not that I want yet another pill to take each day, but I'd do it to have calmness. 

I'm longing for the days in June when we had high temps in the 70s during the day and the 50s and 60s at night. Fall and winter can't come soon enough! 

A Handout or a Hand Up?

I just read an article on the NY Magazine site about boomers not helping their millennial kids out financially and the kids resenting their parents for it. I'm not a boomer or a millennial (Gen X all day, baby), so I can't speak for those groups, but I can speak about my own situation with my parents and money. 

I was raised without receiving financial support from my parents for college. My mother (who died while I was in graduate school) wasn't in a position to help me financially and my father really wasn't either (although he was certainly better off financially than my mother after they divorced in the 1980s). So I paid my own way. I worked for the university where I received my undergraduate degree so I could receive tuition assistance and I took loans out for graduate school (that I finally paid off probably 20 years ago). I also didn't get any funds from my dad when I bought my current co-op. I used my own money that I'd saved for the down payment. Considering the fact that I was in my 40s when I bought the place, I wouldn't have even imagined asking my father for money. He was retired by then and living on a fixed income. 

While I'm not against financially helping family members, I don't feel any parent is obligated to give their grown children money, but I also don't have any children, so I'm speaking as someone who's never been in this situation personally. Some kids do need financial help with bills, down payments, college loans, whatever and some parents are in a financial position to help their children, but if the parents choose not to help, are they evil for refusing to give their kids money? I don't think so.

New York, New York

I got back yesterday from a quick trip to New York for work. I got there on Saturday and the entire time I was there, I found myself being annoyed with the amount of people on the streets. I also found myself wondering how I worked there for 7.5 years while living in New Jersey and then Brooklyn. I was talking to a friend in NY about this and she assured me that the city wasn't as crowded back then. I left NY in 2013. Maybe she's right, but the sheer amount of people walking around midtown and taking selfies and videos of themselves (especially around Times Square) during my recent visit was ridiculous. I avoided Times Square like the plague when I used to work around that area, but I had to go through it to get to where I was going during my visit this past weekend and the streets felt downright claustrophobic. 

Shortly before I left New York, the city got Citibikes and I remember thinking, This is never going to work. How wrong I was about that! There are so many bikes on the streets there now: Citibikes, e-bikes, personal bikes. whatever. If you didn't have enough problems crossing the streets due to cars, trucks, and busses, now you've got bikers who will mow you down. 

Despite my complaints, I always enjoy visiting New York and this trip was no exception. After a heavy rain Saturday night, the weather was great Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and I got to see my boss (who I had not seen in person since before Covid in 2020), other coworkers, and friends I hadn't seen in some time. I doubt I'd ever move back to New York because I can't afford it and because I don't think I could take it, but I'll continue to be a visitor. I just need to avoid Midtown the next time I go!