A Handout or a Hand Up?

I just read an article on the NY Magazine site about boomers not helping their millennial kids out financially and the kids resenting their parents for it. I'm not a boomer or a millennial (Gen X all day, baby), so I can't speak for those groups, but I can speak about my own situation with my parents and money. 

I was raised without receiving financial support from my parents for college. My mother (who died while I was in graduate school) wasn't in a position to help me financially and my father really wasn't either (although he was certainly better off financially than my mother after they divorced in the 1980s). So I paid my own way. I worked for the university where I received my undergraduate degree so I could receive tuition assistance and I took loans out for graduate school (that I finally paid off probably 20 years ago). I also didn't get any funds from my dad when I bought my current co-op. I used my own money that I'd saved for the down payment. Considering the fact that I was in my 40s when I bought the place, I wouldn't have even imagined asking my father for money. He was retired by then and living on a fixed income. 

While I'm not against financially helping family members, I don't feel any parent is obligated to give their grown children money, but I also don't have any children, so I'm speaking as someone who's never been in this situation personally. Some kids do need financial help with bills, down payments, college loans, whatever and some parents are in a financial position to help their children, but if the parents choose not to help, are they evil for refusing to give their kids money? I don't think so.

New York, New York

I got back yesterday from a quick trip to New York for work. I got there on Saturday and the entire time I was there, I found myself being annoyed with the amount of people on the streets. I also found myself wondering how I worked there for 7.5 years while living in New Jersey and then Brooklyn. I was talking to a friend in NY about this and she assured me that the city wasn't as crowded back then. I left NY in 2013. Maybe she's right, but the sheer amount of people walking around midtown and taking selfies and videos of themselves (especially around Times Square) during my recent visit was ridiculous. I avoided Times Square like the plague when I used to work around that area, but I had to go through it to get to where I was going during my visit this past weekend and the streets felt downright claustrophobic. 

Shortly before I left New York, the city got Citibikes and I remember thinking, This is never going to work. How wrong I was about that! There are so many bikes on the streets there now: Citibikes, e-bikes, personal bikes. whatever. If you didn't have enough problems crossing the streets due to cars, trucks, and busses, now you've got bikers who will mow you down. 

Despite my complaints, I always enjoy visiting New York and this trip was no exception. After a heavy rain Saturday night, the weather was great Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and I got to see my boss (who I had not seen in person since before Covid in 2020), other coworkers, and friends I hadn't seen in some time. I doubt I'd ever move back to New York because I can't afford it and because I don't think I could take it, but I'll continue to be a visitor. I just need to avoid Midtown the next time I go!

Say Yes to Michigan

Years ago, there used to be an ad campaign to encourage people to visit Michigan. The theme song for the commericals was "Say Yes to Michigan." I can hear the song in my head as I'm typing this post. I was in my home state of Michigan last week for the Memorial Day holiday and had a great time. I'm seriously considering a move back to the mitten state and I'm really close to making that happen. I'm pretty certain it will happen before the end of the year. I've been in the Chicago area now since 2013 (after leaving Brooklyn) and I feel like it's time to make another move. Maybe it's time to "say yes to Michigan" again!

In other news, I'm reading Heated Rivalry (and watching the series) and I have to say I'm enjoying both. The book is good and I'm ashamed at myself for not reading it earlier. I'm not someone who's into hockey at all (despite being from Michigan), but I'm enjoying the story and the characters. It's a nice departure from some of the more depressing stuff I've been reading over the past few months. Maybe it'll spur me to get back to my own writing (that's been sorely neglected). One can only hope! 

Stuff I'm Watching

Believe it or not, but I am trying to work on some fiction. I've been saying that for many months, but it's true! Yes, I've been detoured by laziness and life, but I do intend to finish the work I started. I don't know when it'll be finished, but it will be finished eventually!

In between writing and not writing, I've been watching a lot of stuff. I recently saw the film Pillion and found it interesting. I'm not a fan of dom/sub relationships; it's just not my bag. However, I'd read a lot about this film and I like Alexander Skarsgard, so I wanted to see it. I found his relationship with Harry Melling to be both crazy and entertaining. Harry's character was basically willing to serve at the pleasure of Alex's character (although I suspect he got some pleasure from it also). The first time he went to Alex's house, Alex told him to cook dinner for him and made him stand while he (Alex) ate that dinner. Harry would sleep on the floor beside Alex's bed. Harry shaved his head and wore a large padlock and chain around his neck (that Alex held the key for) to show that he "belonged" to Alex. But, as soon as Harry wanted to take a break from the whole dom/sub roles, Alex noped out. (Well, Alex tried it for one day, but that was it.) I kept thinking of the song "I Want to Be Your Dog" while I watched this film. 

I've also started watching the series Half Man on HBO Max. I watched Richard Gadd's other series, Baby Reindeer, back when I had Netflix and found it disturbing, but entertaining. Half Man is disturbing and less entertaining. I'm only two episodes in and I plan to finish the series, but all I can think about while watching it is that Gadd is a little disturbed (maybe more than a little) to come up with this whole storyline. Maybe more than a little. The co-dependency between his character and Jamie Bell's character is just crazy and so destructive (mainly to Jamie's character).

I'm also giving Heated Rivalry another run. I watched the first episode and didn't think I'd go back to the series, but I did and I've found that it gets better as it goes on. Now I'm kind of into it. I still don't find either of the actors playing the lead roles to be particularly sexy, but I am enjoying seeing them together. Maybe I should read the book!

Michael Jackson

I went to see the new Michael Jackson movie last week and found it corny. I enjoyed MJ the Musical much more and that was a little corny too, but at least it had killer dance sequences. The movie didn't have as many musical parts as I was hoping it would. Still, it was entertaining if you're a fan of MJ, as I am.

I understand the relcutance of some to put more money in the pockets of the Michael Jackson estate given his past but my way of dealing with this is to try and separate the music from the man. Some folks can't do that and I totally get it, but I grew up on the music of the Jackson 5, the Jacksons, and Michael as a solo artist. I went to the Victory Tour back in the 1980s at the Pontiac Silverdome outside of Detroit!

Michael Jackson was seriously talented, but he was also certifiably crazy and probably perverted. It doesn't take a genius to look at the changes in his personal appearance over the years and come to the conclusion that this guy had serious issues with himself. I have no idea if he abused kids, but when the molestation accusations started, I can't say I was surprised. What grown man has kids over to his house to sleep in his bed with him, especially kids who aren't HIS kids? Are his kids even HIS biological kids? Probably not, but he brought them up and raised them, so I guess they're his kids now, right? 

Taking all of that into consideration, I can still say I enjoy a lot of the music Michael put out before he died. I love really old stuff like Ben and I'll Be There, older solo stuff like Off the Wall and Rock with You, and newer (old) stuff like Remember the Time and the Earth Song. Mike threw down musically and he was a great entertainer. He may have been a mess as a man, but he knew how to put on a show. 

No Bueno

In an effort to bring my weight down and regulate my diet, I've been cooking more and eating at home rather than buying fast food or food from other restaurants. But, occasionally, I don't feel like cooking or I want something other than what I have in my refrigerator, so I'll go out to eat. Today was one of those days. I ordered a meal from a restaurant and picked it up. It was lousy. Half a rack of sub-par ribs, inedible asparagus, and an overcooked sweet potato. What a disappointment. I should have just made a sandwich at home and saved myself $30. The last time I got tacos, they were disappointing too. What happened to good food? Is every business suffering and cutting costs by downgrading their food these days? I can't recall the last time I had a really good meal from a restaurant (fast food or otherwise). It's either no bueno or just okay. Rarely good, but never great. 

I understand that a lot of restaurants are suffering because they've had to raise prices and customers aren't showing up the way they used to, but the quality of the food they're serving has really gone in the shitter lately. I'd be willing to pay for a meal that was good, but paying for a meal that's a disappointment just makes me want to stay home. At least when I cook, I know what I'm getting. 

Clarity

A few weeks ago, I watched a clip from the movie Office Space on YouTube and found myself laughing because the film still holds up today for those of us who do office work. I enjoyed this movie when I saw it initially more than 20 years ago, and I still enjoy it now, 20+ years later. 

I had a meeting yesterday with my manager and others from my day job and it left me feeling really annoyed with everyone involved (myself included), but it also left me with clarity. Sometimes you need a signal or a kick in the ass to make you see things you've either  been blind to or ignored for too long. I woke up this morning still feeling annoyed about that meeting, but also knowing that it's time to make some changes in my life this year. I should have actually made changes last year, but I didn't because I was too worried about Donny T's return to the White House and figured I'd better keep the status quo and see how things shake out. Well, things ain't shaking out too well and it's time to start making some moves no matter what's up with Donny T and the Funky Bunch, Part Deux. Now, I'll do what I have to in order to keep my eyes on the prize and move my life forward. Change is hard 9and it's even harder when you're older), but sometimes it's necessary and fear shouldn't keep me or anyone from doing what you feel is best for you and your life.