Excuse Me

"Excuse me.  Can you tell me how to get to..."  Since I moved to Brooklyn three years ago, I find myself constantly asked for directions by strangers on the street.  Rarely a week goes by that someone doesn't ask me how to get to a certain street or questions about how to get somewhere on the subway.  I have been asked for directions from all kinds of people:  black, white, Asian, hipster, Latino, whatever.  I've been asked questions in Spanish that I could not answer because my one semester of college Spanish happened a long time ago and I failed to excel in the language.  ("Ola! Me llamo Kim" is about the best I can do.) 

Because I'm frequently asked for directions, I've started to wonder what it is about me that makes me seem approachable.  Is it because I'm a woman in her early 40s who looks generally non-threatening?  I had this discussion with a friend's boyfriend who used to live in Brooklyn and he told me my glasses make me look smart, so that's why I'm deemed more approachable to strangers.  There are a lot of people who wear glasses in the city, so I don't know how much weight that theory holds, but I could see the glasses, my age, and the fact that I'm usually alone when approached all go into the way people size me up and decide to go for broke and ask me how to get to Carroll Street (or something).  We all go through internal dialogues when deciding how we deal with strangers.  Should I sit next to that person on the subway?  Should I tell that lady I like the boots she's wearing?  Should I ask that man if I'm heading in the right direction?  A few years ago, I was riding the elevator with a guy and I complimented him on his shoes.  (They were nice shoes--black Oxfords with a white border--very different from the usual boring business man's shoes.)  Anyway, this guy thought I was coming on to him.  (I wasn't!  I just liked his shoes!)  Now I'm wary of complimenting any man I don't know on his appearance.  I hate to be that way because I like to give praise where praise is due.

Talking to strangers, particularly in New York, is always a gamble. You never know what you'll get. You might get no response, a response you can't understand, curses hurled at you, hit on, or, lo and behold, an actual answer.